The Perfectly Placed Pooper

I sit in my 10x9 office for the majority of the day. Most days this could be due to being very busy or could be to lack of motivation. Today however is a different day. Today I sit for inspiration! Well, maybe not for inspiration but I am sure feeling inspired to blog about the perfectly placed pooper. I measured the just distance between my office and the mens pooper......6ft 5in. The very unfortunate thing with man pooh is that the scent lingers forever on average 29.7ft. See the problem?

My office feels like it is inside the potty room!

Let me include for you a few things I have experienced over the years from sitting next to the mans poop station and some proper etiquette for using a public restroom.....
1. Do not announce to anyone you are about to "tear it up"
2. If you are using a public facility, do not carry in with you the trader paper, field and stream, maxim, daily news, or anything you can read. There is no reason to make the process take any longer than it needs to.
3. It is impolite to grunt
4. You can camo-cough when you plop if you'd like to but.....we all know what that means
5. Courtesy Flush (more than once) and in case if you are wondering the definition of a courtesy flush: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom.
6.They make matches for multiple reasons. Your pooh is not flammable, you will not catch fire, light one (or 2) to remove stinch
7. Make sure you checked for toilet paper before you sit down. Asking me/anyone for it after you're done is not fair or sanitary.
8. Always wash your hands when you're done. You should always know what color and scent the soap is just in case you are asked!!!!
9. Last, DO NOT EVER walk out of the bathroom and apologize!!! Just move on, let it go, and pretend it never happened!!
I hope this will give you some insight and help you gain a little respect for the one who sits 6.5ft away from the stink room.

Same as the camo-cough